Thursday, May 17, 2012

Eyes wide open!

Let me make one thing clear. I'm not in the business of judging. Thank goodness, because judging others takes alot of time, and negative energy. However, I am in the business of having my eyes wide open. Somedays I still miss something, but I focus on being aware of my surroundings everyday, especially with people. Part of that is my inquisitive nature and part of that is from being an old rehab nurse who is got used to being keenly aware of others behavior.

Our news in saturated with stories of people dying before their time. Dying from addiction. Yesterday I read an article about a Judge from Knoxville who is under federal charges because of his addiction and today on Fox news they are talking about another Kennedy that battled addiction until her death this week.

Having worked in a couple of rehabs, and a pain management clinic I feel confident that I can see it in someones eyes when they are battling addiction. I had an experience this week with a Practitioner I see that left me unsettled. I went in for a blood pressure check. Just felt bad after some insomnia and felt like it was up. I sat there and talked to a Practitioner I see and  almost a minute after I began to talk to her, I realized she was on something. And she was on something pretty strong. The conversation was scattered and I paid particular attention to her eyes. There was a certain dark, glazed over, distant look that comes from addiction.

I hugged her and subtly suggested she read a book I have read that helps people deal with addiction. It came up in our conversation so I used that open to door to plant a seed. I dont think I did enough. I walked out of there without confronting her. I failed to do what I encourage so many people to do. It has been on my mind everyday since. I cant shake it. Now I'm struggling on what to do. Its a serious thing when youre treating patients and youre under the influence. Yet it happens more than we care to know about. I have an open door policy with her.  I can walk in and be taken straight back to see her without an appointment. Im considering using that open door. My eyes were wide open but I shut them fast without thinking because I didnt want to believe it. I didnt want to believe that someone I care about and love was there, in that dark place.

How many of us shut our eyes and turn away? How many times have you ignored that small, still voice that tells you someone needs help?  How many of us choose to go through life without our eyes wide open?

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