Sunday, August 21, 2011

To have and to hold!

I have a lot of interesting conversations with friends about relationships. I think one of the most interesting ones I've had lately was with my ex. He indicated to me that while he is dating a girl he has no intentions of ever marrying her, and he shrugged off the idea of even living with her. I'm sorry, I meant to say while he is dating her and sleeping with her he has no intentions of ever marrying her. He says he will "never sign that piece of paper". He went on to tell me how he has discussed this with friends and guys at work and they all tell him to just date and to not even live with her He even went further and said "if she took off with someone else tomorrow, it wouldnt bother me". Wow! When I asked him how she felt, he said that she doesn't want to be married either. Yeah, right. Most women in their mid-forties date because they are looking for someone to settle down with and grow old with, so I don't buy that.

How sad is it that a woman's level of desperation goes so low that she will conform to whatever a man says in order just to have him, or spend time with him. She will give herself emotionally, physically and spiritually and pretend that she never wants anything more. First of all that's not natural and its not biblical.

I realize we are in the age where women are independent and strong and don't need men. Yet they offer themselves up like a sacrificial lamb and they never require anything back. It's as if they are saying "use me, take me when you can, I will be there when you call, and all of that knowing that you don't love me enough or respect me enough to marry me". That's so sad and I am so glad that I never ever let myself conform to those ideas.

I realized after having a long conversation with him the other day that this man really did love me, enough to respect me and make me his wife and enough to want to wake up to me everyday and come home to me every night. We shared a home, bought furniture together, planned things together and we had the same last name. There's a difference in just being a convenient girlfriend and being a wife.

I have to wonder what has happened to women and their egos when they say "I'll take you any way I can get you". It's not the way its supposed to be. I feel sorry for those who pretend that it works for them.

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