Wednesday, June 30, 2010

I know I am in a place where God wants me when my soul reaches to the Heavens and thanks God for my pain, for the person it has shaped me into and for the passion it has put into my heart. I've thought alot about pain, mainly because I have experienced a lot of it during the last two years especially. I always thought my life was successful and happy if I could go through it and not have a lot of pain or hurt. My views differ greatly from that now. Now I see that my pain is a portion of who I am. Its a portion of the passion I feel for people and for what I believe in. Its a portion of my purpose here on earth. How else could I help those in emotional pain from addiction and life in general if I could not identify with what they are feeling and going through? In the midst of my pain I would wake up some days and ask God why he allowed me to wake up. Now I see that He wasnt done with me yet. He had other things for me to do. For that I am glad. Thats the kind of hope and joy that I want to be able to show recovering addicts. I want them to embrace a new day, find their purpose in life and live life without being tied to a beast of an addiction. When I meet an addict and we begin talking, one of the first questions I ask them is "what is your pain?, why do you drink or take the next pill?". I have learned so much about how people feel or choose not to feel pain. Whats your pain? Feel it, breathe it in and then tell God to show you what to do with it! You will be amazed at what you hear back!

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