I had a conversation the other night with someone who works with my ex-husband. He told me that he was sorry for what I had to go through and he wished me luck. I said to him, "I haven't lost any anything. I still have two wonderful children, and four awesome grandchildren, family and a few good friends that have really stuck beside me. I still wake up and approach every day eager to see who is in my path and what is handed to me to do for the better of mankind. I still love the lake and a fast boat. I still get excited about new experiences. I still laugh out loud and giggle like a little girl. I still gaze at a full moon in awe. I still love music and I still love to write. I am still known for my notes to people who need encouragement. I am still a Momma to two kids that adore me. I am still Gigi to four absolutely beautiful grand kids. And I am still God's daughter, embraced in His love, appointed for a purpose here on earth".
At that point I kept feeling a tug from God to take inventory of exactly what I had lost and what I still had. When I was done making that list of what I lost in the other person, I said to myself, "I've lost nothing but worry, anxiety, insomnia, unhappiness, distress, distrust, suspicion and many other things that went with that person when they chose porn addiction over marriage, lust over love, dishonesty over truth and left to have a relationship with someone else. Now that person has my loss. Then I became peaceful and grateful and calm. I no longer wanted to cry or scream.
We serve an awesome God. And sometimes what we think is being taken away from us, is actually something being given to us. It's God's gift to us. In the process we lose hurt, pain and someone who will never be happy with you or anyone. And God says "enough". He simply removes that obstacle from in front of you. He takes the thorn out of your side. He gives you rest when you had not known a peaceful nights sleep in years. He gives you joy that replaces the unhappiness. He is constant and not moody. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. He gives you love, comfort and trust and a place to hide in Him. Things you should have had in a marriage but didn't. He gives you confidence and a glow that comes from knowing that someone loves you and will never betray you and will always carry you, because God is now your caretaker. You will never have to worry about what is happening on your home computer, or who is calling your husband, because God has removed all of that from your life and now you will live in the security of His love and the abundance of being cherished and loved for all that you are.
I do not condone divorce. I have to stop myself when I sometimes want to say "I hate cheaters". I am a person who is loyal and takes a vow seriously, and I believe that people who do mess with other people's wedding vows are in serious danger, because it is a commitment to God that you take also, and you better take it seriously. Not all people do that. Not all women believe that your husband is yours. They believe that all is fair in love and war. So when you have to face that you are married to someone who is weak and not loyal and who is flattered by the attention of someone who is basically a harlot, you have to say "God, here it is, take this cup from me". When someone else leaves and they don't want to be committed to you or anyone, ever, you let go. And when you do that you reach a day where you awake and say "it is well with my soul". Loss is inevitable in life. Hurt is guaranteed. People aren't always fair. But that loss is easily weathered when you let God take it and give you the gift of a fresh start. The gift of being yourself again, and of being what he created you to be.
Sad as it may seem, someone else has now signed up for your hurt, frustration, and betrayal. Someone else thinks they are the one person who can change your husband and make him happy and a better person. Someone else has chosen to take that from you, and while they don't know that's what they signed up for, they will. And maybe, just maybe, when their heart belongs to God, they will allow Him to heal their hurt, just as He did yours.
As I have said before, "I know I am in a place where God wants me to be when my soul reaches up to the Heavens and thanks God for my pain. Life is tragic, God is good"!